with buddha on the dashboard... on life's road.

Premise:

As you go along “life’s high ways and by ways” you’re bound to get a ding or two in your windshield from some rock flying at’cha outta nowhere on some dirt road you wound up on. One wrong turn and you’re in uncharted territory on some 'bumpy-ass-off-road-to-hell' full of pot holes and tore all to shit by good old Father Time.

You sorta’  know where you are. You kinda’ know the  direction you’re headed.  You’re pretty sure where you went wrong.  All you gotta do is get back on the right road. But first you hav’ta  find it. 


To “self”:

Wait, is it the north side of a tree that moss grows on? Shit, I wish I’d paid more attention in biology, or botany or whatever. That’s what you get for skippin’ class and gettin’ high at lunch. You and your  punk ass stoner friends pulling up to the Tasty Freeze, rollin’ out  the back of that ole’ Econoline on a cloud of “skunk”... orderin’ hot-fudge-nutty-nuttys “extra nuts, please”... if you please. Good wasted friends, good wasted times. Wouldn’t trade a minute. No sir.

Stop sidetracking! Concentrate on gettin’ outta here. Okay, think!  I took a left off the highway headin’ west, so I must be goin’ south. Makes sense.  So all right, let’s see.. the sun sets in the west, right?,  and it’s...  what time?... Let’s see... Fuck!... High-fucking-noon. Nice goin’ Marco... Polo. Great, just great. I’m never gonna find my way back. I’ll be travellin’ this road til hell freezes over. Shit!

     Like a dog without a bone (sing it girl!)
     I feel so all alone
     just tryin’ to get back home
     wish I had a phone (so I could call somebody who gives a shit!)
All right, just keep drivin’.  Sooner or later I’ll figure it out. That paved stretch of highway can’t be too far. I hadn’t been driving down this god-forsaken road that long.

Whoa!... Holy shit! Who put that fucking-great-fucking-big boulder in the middle of the fucking road? Fuuuuck!

No way I’m  gettin’ over that, even with all my tires spinnin’.  Shit! I guess I could turn around and try to find my way back. But man, I’m already here. And you know what they say, ‘you can’t go back’.  Wonder just who the fuck “they”are. Probably twelve egomaniacal-Illuminati-wanna-be’s.  “T...H...E...Y...”...  Twelve Hungry... Hateful?... Hellish?... Hellbound?... yeah that’s it, Hellbound. Hellbound Evil Yuppies.
 
"Twelve-hellbound-evil-yuppie" rule makers. Bastards. What do they know?

Back to the situation at hand. Gettin’ pretty frustrated here. There’s got to be a way around this all “naturale” speed bump.  Maybe if I go just a little further down I can find my way outta here. Yup, feelin’ a little lost here boys and girls. Doesn’t look good for the home team right about now. Keep lookin’, keep lookin’, keep lookin... seek until you find. Wait, it’s “seek and ye shall find”...”build it and they will come”. “I’m so tired of all this coming and going and going and coming.” didn’t  Marlene Dietrich say that... or was it Nora Desmond? God I wish I’d paid more attention back in drama class. And I sure as hell wish I’d paid more attention to where I was goin’ just a minute ago. My bad.

Hey there, hi there, ho there. Told ya. “O ye of little faith.” There’s a road I can take. Man... I almost did not see that. “Can’t see the trees for the forest”.  If I’da blinked I’da missed it. Had it been a snake it would’a bit me. Looks pretty tight, though. Sure don’t look like it gets a whole lotta traffic.

I am truly smack dab in the middle of goddamn nowhere, right here on the corner of Where-the fuck-am-I and How-in-the-hell-did-I-get-here. Gotta do somethin’ even if it’s wrong.

Guess I’ll take that li’l ole turn and just hope for the best. Time will tell. I got “miles to go before I sleep”. Countin’ sheep, little Bopeep, smell my feet. “Feets don’t fail me now”.

Whoa!!!

Is that “Deliverance” playin’ in my head?